Stories as told to me by Airbnb hosts, taxi drivers, people along the path...no more than 3 lines per story...no embellishment by me...no names...here we go...
There was a guy who was scattering his grandmother's ashes in the sea. Standing in the waves, waist high. You know about every 7th wave, don't you? Well, the seventh wave came, and he was gone. Couldn't swim, see. Next week they were scattering his ashes in the sea...
Our daughter went to the doctor when she was 20, asking for a cervical cancer test. The GP said he couldn't do it, the NHS only starts screening at 25. So we took out private health insurance. They found cancer. Intervened just in time. She's OK. She's 27 now.
So there was a guy who moved into our village, from London. His neighbour was a farmer, whose family had lived there for several generations. After a few months, the new chap sued the farmer saying that his cockerel disturbed the peace! And he won!
Do you know why there's no bridge over the River Dart before you get all the way up the estuary to Totnes? Its because of Henry VIII. There was a repair yard for his fleet in the estuary. So he issued a decree saying that there couldn't be any bridges over the Dart.
Did you hear about my niece? It was a famous case, with a petition. She went to her GP when she was about 17-18 and asked to be tested. He said that she'd had too much under-age sex and screening only starts at 25. She was dead from cervical cancer at 23.
So our first Airbnb guest was this lady from Indonesia. She went into her room and stayed there for a month, without coming out, apart from to collect food delivered to her room. We barely saw her. And when she went, she gave us a bad review. We still don't know why.
Did you know that half of our house is made from an old railway carriage. And not just any old carriage, this one belonged to the Prince of Wales. Not this Prince of Wales, but Queen Victoria's son. He apparently used the carriage for entertaining his lady friends...
My boyfriend of 5 years left suddenly one night. We were going to get married. Turned out he'd taken 25k from my bank account. The police said, 'oh, relationship fraud, may not be able to get to that soon'. He's living in the next village, free as a magpie.
Online dating: I forgot to press the button about being in the neighbourhood. Got a match with a guy in Scotland. Flew up there. I like to do yoga and walk. I'm not being fattist, but his picture was 20 years out of date and he'd want to go to restaurants and me to yoga...
My daughter in law had a baby when she was 40. The grandchild I always wanted. Afterwards she went for her 18 month check-up, which included a pap smear. Found cervical cancer just in time. She's fine. Baby saved her life.
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